Goodbye to 09, Hello 2010

WOW! Really?! It's already 2010? That's kinda scary. That means I have been out of high school for 10 years! Wowzaa! I'm getting old. HAHA

2009 was a great year for me! I really have nothing to complain about. God was so good to me! Most importantly, He put Bryan into my life at the beginning of the year and off we went as a couple. I was so exciting to see what 2009 would be like, since there would be a lot of first. Like, meeting his girls, meeting his family, celebrating valentines with a boyfriend, taking trips, meeting my family, celebrating Christmas, and all the other fun stuff that comes along. In 2009 I got to see what true, unconditional love looks like from a humans point of view. It still amazes me to this day! There are times when I'm in a poopy mood, or just feeling my ugliest and yet Bryan tells me, "It doesn't matter, I still love you." I can't even find a word to use to describe that feeling, knowing that I am loves regardless!

But along with all that goodness, I can find a few, actually two things I would change. Or maybe not change but just work harder on. I don't want to sound ungrateful for 2009, because I am not, that I promise!!! But as romance swept me off my feet in 2009, two other things took a back seat in my life. I hesitate talking about them b/c they are personal, but this is my blog, and this is where I come to write. So I'm not making New Years Resolutions, because those are silly and we all know everyone pretty much breaks them. But I am going to try to make a few changes in my life.

Change one - I remember last Christmas getting a book about personal fitness, and being so exciting about the change coming to my life, refering to weigh loss. My first week I lost 5 pounds and I was dedicate. That was until I met Bryan. Then I just said what the heck. He loves me just the way I am! But now a year later, I am so much heavier that I have ever been and it's not just 5 extra pounds, it's many. This weight battle isn't new, I have struggled with it since I can remember. I have never been the "skinny girl" nor did I ever truly believe I could be her. But then I watched the Biggest Loser and saw all these huge people become tiny and something clicked. I want it so bad but clearly not bad enough since I choose to sit on the couch and eat my ice cream. I don't understand why I lack the drive. I don't understand why it's hard. I just want to feel good about myself. I want to have energy to run around and not just sleep all the time. So, as hard as I am thinking it's going to be, I'm going to try and get my healthy, energized body back. I want to feel good about myself, and I deserve to!!!

Change two - This one is tough for me, just so you know! ~~~ Before Bryan came along, I didn't have a boyfriend but I did have someone important in my life. It was me and God. He was my partner, my buddy, my spiritual father. I relied on Him for everything and He took care of things. He always provided for me and loved me unconditionally. I remember waking up one night just heart broken about something, so I got up b/c I remember a dear friend telling me "When you wake up in the middle of the night and can't sleep, maybe God wants to tell you something." So, I got up and opened this book I had and there was this verse from the bible about peace. God knew my heart was breaking and He gave me exactly what I needed. That's the kind of love He has for me. Well, since God put Bryan into my life, unfortunately God has taken the back seat. Bryan loves providing for me, so I have kind of just placed my hand in his, instead of keeping Gods. Now, I know that God doesn't love me any less and He hasn't left me. But when you aren't talking with God as much, and aren't reading His word, things change. I have noticed my attitude at times being pretty stinky, I have noticed myself being selfish, and other stuff. A few weeks ago pastor preached from Romans 12: 9-13 Here are the verses

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. ¹¹Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. ¹²Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ¹³Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

They really just struck me! This is what my life should look like! So in this year of 2010, I am going to allow God to be back in the drivers seat. I want Him leading my life and when that happens, these verses will come alive in my life! So as sad as I am about my our time apart, I am more excited about coming back together! And I am grateful for God's grace, that no matter what, I am loved!!!!!!!

So, as I look on 2010, I am pretty exciting. I think God's going to teach me new things and stretch me farther than I have ever gone! Plus, I think there are many new adventures right ahead!!!!